“It’s unbelieveable. You can’t get any where near downtown in a car. It’s totally shut down.”

My dad said this to me on the phone Sunday, describing a scene of brutal gridlock and dozens upon dozens of road closures near the scene of the big event.

But he wasn’t talking about bike races. He doesn’t even live in Richmond. My parents live in Philadelphia, and this weekend the Pope arrives. That’s right, the Pope isn’t doing anything in Philly until this coming Saturday, yet Center City was barricaded off last Sunday.

By contrast, I took the family downtown on Sunday to watch the team time trials at the UCI World Championships, and parking was a breeze. First we parked in the Fan, only to find out we’d missed the elite women coming by on Monument Ave. Then we cruised down to Cary and 6th and walked up to the finish line and took in the entire men’s race.

Fans pack in to see the podium after the men’s team time trial. Photo: Casey B. Gibson

Not only was all of that easy, but there were lots of people out. The finish area was packed from the line out at least until the 250m-to-go mark, with fans pounding the placards on the barricades as teams came thundering by. The Fan Fest had plenty of traffic, as well. And keep in mind, this was for the team time trial — not exactly The Big Races. Those would be the Elite men’s and women’s road races. Heck, it’s not even the biggest time trial of the week. Cycling fans are much more into the individual version of those races — the women’s is this afternoon. The men’s is tomorrow.

Maybe I need a more varied Twitter feed, but I feel like I’ve heard a lot of grousing three days into this event. If it’s not road closures; it’s restaurants complaining about being sold a false bill of goods. The road closures I’ve already addressed. Simply put, it is not difficult to get around this city. Go to www.richmond2015.com and find out what roads will be closed. Then go around them. It’s not complicated. There are lots of options.

On the “Hey, where are all the people?” front. Yes, we were initially led to believe that 450,000 Belgians and Dutch would descend on this city for these races. But did that ever really make sense? And anyone who dug a little deeper would have found stories in the T-D, Style Weekly and other local news sources explaining that the vast majority of out-of-towners start showing up mid-week for the men’s individual time trial and really start arriving for the weekend road races.

Women’s Team Time Trial. Credit: Washingtonian

I know people from Durham, N.C., Washington, D.C. and Charlottesville coming in to watch tomorrow’s time trial. An old friend is coming from Atlanta on Friday. And I know a friend of friend coming from Utah to watch the weekend racing.

The people will come, Richmond. And from what I’ve seen, there are plenty of people already here. Deep breaths, and remember it could be worse. The Pope could be on his way.

Team cars are being spotted all over town

Nervousness, agitation, restlessness…I got race fever, people!  Might as well phone in sick, ’cause judging by the sheer volume of texts I am getting, the Richmond area is not contributing much to the GDP this week. Next week doesn’t look good either. In celebration, I am switching to the metric system.

Remember last week when I penetrated RichmondOutside’s paltry web defenses to announce my underground race series? Well, as promised, this week I’m back with an update on the rules and schedule of events, and this time with RichmondOutside’s blessing. This is real, people.

But first I am pleased to announce that we have brought on Whitworth Cycles as a sponsor. Whit is in the process of cranking out some rockin’ custom prizes for the male and female champions. I am not quite ready to tease those yet. Additionally, we have some very nice daily prizes donated from a major outdoor retailer.

Custom 0.4327 litre cups are in…$15 gets you all you can drink, and credit cards are accepted.

Start times are rolling times. Show up early or expect to chase. If you have your nameplate from a previous event, feel free to rock it, otherwise it’s paper plates and a giant sharpie.  Don’t forget to bring something for the common cause, food, beer, something…

Friday, September 18: Opening Ceremony, Brown’s Island. 6:30 p.m. Free, but you need a ducat.

Saturday, September 19: Know Good Beer Fest, Brown’s Island 2 to 9 p.m. $40 now or at the gate.

Sunday, September 20: 

Pros Ride – Team Time Trial 11:30-3:30 p.m.

You Ride – Poop Loop Individual Time Trial, 5 p.m., Ancarrow’s Landing Parking Area (4.5 miles, brakes optional. The first 60 riders will enjoy extended split times, but after that we’re sending you at 0:15 intervals)

Afterparty – West 33rd Street (Southside, ask around)

Time Bonus – Porn Star Mustache Competition (top 3 mustaches win a time bonus, as judged by your fellow racers)

Monday, September 21:

You Ride – New Kent County, Road and Gravel, 10 a.m., New Kent Visitors Center (comes out to 100k, with about 15k of gravel to keep it interesting)

Tuesday, September 22:

Pros Ride – Womens Elite Time Trial, 1:30 p.m.

You Ride – James River Park, 9 a.m., Dogwood Dell (2 timed sections)

Afterparty – China Street bailed out, but we have you covered

Wednesday, September 23:

Pros Ride – Mens Elite Time Trial, 1:30 p.m.

You Ride – Powhite Hot Laps, 5 p.m., Powhite Park (2k loop, 1 hour plus 1 lap)

Afterparty – Chez Andre, Blakemore Road (Southside), just like every Wednesday

Thursday, September 24:

No pro racing

You Ride – Pocahontas State Park, 10 a.m., Amphitheater Parking Area (a unique lap of Blueberry Hill, Lakeview and Blue/Intermediate trails, with connecting fire roads.  Parking is $5.  Grab a trail map from the concierge, if you think you will need it.)

Afterparty – TBD, but I have some info on a cool scavenger race downtown

Friday, September 25:

Pros Ride – Womens Jr./Mens U-23 Road Race 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Shmoes Ride – Conquer The Cobbles 7 to 9 p.m.

You Ride – Road Course Poach – 2 laps, 4:30 pm, Starts/Finishes at Libbie Hill Park

Afterparty, Awards and Heckling – Pit O’ Disrepair, E. Franklin Street (Libby Hill on Church Hill)

Not only is the women’s race heating up, but the mustache competition is heating up as well.

Parking and car travel city-wide could of course be limited, so ride to the ride wherever possible.

Buttermilk Trail will be part of the course for the 50-miler of Saturday’s Tour de Fall Line. Credit: Phil Riggan

If you run, bike or paddle on and around the James River in Central Virginia, chances are you’ve benefitted from the work of the James River Outdoor Coalition and RVA Mid-Atlantic Off-Road Enthusiasts. The former is made up mostly of paddlers; the latter of mountain bikers. But their effect on the outdoor recreation landscape goes beyond their chosen recreational pursuits. Ever taken your boat out at 14th Street? JROC helped fund and build that. Ever walked your dog along the switchbacking, intricate-stonework and cool-arched-bridge section of the Buttermilk Trail? RVA MORE helped fund and build that.

So, if you intended to run, bike or paddle this weekend anyway, why not do it in a way that aids those groups?

On Saturday, the second annual Tour de Fall Line goes off from Mayo Island in downtown Richmond. The event — featuring multi-distance bike rides, a group trail run and group paddle — is a celebration of what we have here in Richmond: World class singletrack and whitewater in an urban environment. All proceeds go toward these groups that work so hard to maintain these amenities.

Last year, Richmond MORE’s Michael Taliaferro told me, they had about 150 people sign up for the bike rides and about a dozen do the paddle. This year they’ve added a trail run.

“The paddle is a full run of the entire fall line,” he said. “It starts at 9 a.m. and we have room for 30 people on rafts. The cost is $40 which includes the paddle, beer afterward, and food from Lee’s Fried Chicken (or Mellow Mushroom for vegetarians).

If you’ve lived in Richmond for more than two weeks, you’ve probably figured out a couple of things (though hopefully more): We can’t get enough craft beer, and we can’t get enough festivals.

And as far as I can tell that’s especially true of RVA’s outdoors lovers. If I know one thing about the car with a boat or bike rack on it driving around town, it’s that the people inside love them some beer, preferably served at a live event featuring music.

That’s why we’re excited to promote Richmond’s first Know Good Beer and Music Festival to be held September 19 on Brown’s Island from 2-9 p.m. The Proceeds from the festival benefit WNRN, a listener-supported, independent radio station broadcasting on 103.1 FM in Richmond. The first Know Good Beer and Music Festival was held two years ago in Charlottesville, where the WNRN station is located. Since an ever-increasing number of members and supporters of the station are from the Richmond area, organizers decided to bring a fall beer and music festival to Richmond.

This festival can be distinguished from other beer festivals by the musical lineup and the inclusion of Richmond breweries. “We take the music just as seriously as the beer. Great music and great beer go hand in hand,” says Jeremiah Jenkins of Black Bear Productions, which manages production for the festival.

Bands Blitzen Trapper, Kopecky, Those Darlins and Sleepwalkers are the four acts. The first three tour regularly through Richmond, and Sleepwalkers are based here. On the beer front, over sixty beers will be available to sample — from Richmond-based to Mid-Atlantic and national craft breweries.

While some folks might be concerned that September 19 is the opening weekend of the UCI World Cycling Championships, organizers are confident that traffic will not be much of an issue.

“Since there are only two time trials that day, we don’t have to worry much about the street closures. The downtown expressway will be wide open, and those close enough to walk or bike can just ride down to the canal walk,” according to festival organizer, Andrew Craft.

Street closure information is available at Richmond2015.com. Tickets are $40 in advance and $50 at the gate. But you can also win a pair of tickets this Friday and next (both at 2:30 p.m) by sharing our Facebook post about the event and sending your name and email address to Andy@richmondoutside.

(And while you’re down there, look for the James River Association tent, where we’ll be selling our crazy-popular vintage-style James River Park posters.)

Participants in last year’s Hike for Kids. Credit: Blue Sky Fund

In the dark predawn of October 17th, a small crew of hikers will be preparing. They’ll don their headlamps, eat breakfast, and stretch before hitting the trail — the start of a strenuous, 26.8 mile marathon hike through the wooded hollows and rugged cliffs of Shenandoah National Park. This crew won’t be hiking just for fitness or recreation, though they will get those things thrown in; this crew will hike for a purpose.

These hikers are a part of Blue Sky Fund’s Hike for Kids, an annual fundraising event that focuses on getting supporters out and active. Supporters sign up to hike one of three distances—26.8 mile Marathon, 15 mile Half-marathon, or 6.5 mile Finale—and commit to raising funds for the organization independently. The funds raised by the event support Blue Sky’s programs, such as weekly outdoor clubs and summer leadership programs, which seek to provide transformative experiences for urban youth. Blue Sky youth will join for the final 6.5 miles of the hike, providing a space for donors to get to know some of the students that their fundraising and donations support!

Following this year’s hike, everyone will gather for a grand celebration with food, drink, and festivities at Devil’​s Backbone Basecamp Brewpub and Meadows. You can find more information and register today at Blue Sky Fund’s website.

Editor’s Note: The RichmondOutside.com WordPress account was hacked by someone, presumably a man, calling himself Foghorn Leghorn. He posted the below late last night. I considered pulling it from the site, but after a profane email exchange this morning and the promise of free entry into all race events, I decided to let it ride. This post is strange, no doubt, but, best I can tell, it is 100 percent real. Please direct questions to foghorn.leghorn.productions@gmail.com

The World is Coming to the Poop Loop

I say, I say, I say, now here we find ourselves on the doorstep of the biggest durn party to hit this city since Sherman burned it to the ground. Or was it Grant? Or did we burn it? No matter, it burned, and the rest is…history.

One of these cups is $15, but the beer is free.

Now we rally under the colors that unite us, and it’s our turn to burn this city down. As promised, the details have been sorted and the Barnyard Crew is coming to the fore to volunteer their services. First order of business: BEER. The craftsmen at Blakemore Brewing Company have worked up six custom brews for this event, along with these commemorative pint glasses (see pic at left). Racin’ is free, so is the beer (ABC laws, ya know), but you’re gonna need this $15 souvenir cup to put it in. Keeps your whistle wet all week.

Next order of business: A few basic ground rules. No whining. Period. Don’t make an arse of yourself, this is just for fun. The Foghorn Leghorn Productions scoresheet is the official scoresheet, I don’t give two American turds what your Strava time was. Any scoring protests should be written on a $20 bill. This is a communal affair, so if you expect to eat, bring some food to share. We need to show our guests some Southern fried hospitality and all. Feel free to bring friends. If they like to ride bikes, they are welcome.

Finally: Schedule. We got ya covered, with a splendid mix of road, MTB & other. Some you may have ridden, some perhaps not. Plus we have already planned out most of your social calendar.

Friday, September 18: Opening Ceremony, Brown’s Island. Free but you need a ducat.

Saturday, September 19: Know Good Beer Fest, Brown’s Island 2 to 9 p.m.

Sunday, September 20: 

Pros Ride – Team Time Trial 11:30-3:30

You Ride – Poop Loop Individual Time Trial, 5 p.m., Ancarrow’s Landing Parking Area

Afterparty – West 33rd Street (Southside)

Time Bonus – Porn Star Mustache Competition

Monday, September 21:

You Ride – New Kent County, Road and Gravel, 10 a.m., New Kent Visitors Center

Afterparty – TBD (but it ain’t at my house!)

I know, I know “but Fogggggy, why do we have to drive all the way to New Kent?” Its 20 minutes from downtown. Get out of the city, the country air will be good for ya. I’ve seen some of you getting your ninja training out here, you know who you are. Minimum 25c tires and a few spare tubes recommended. Slap on the Gatorskins, expect about 60 miles.

Tuesday, September 22:

Pros Ride – Womens Elite Time Trial, 1:30 p.m.

You Ride – James River Park Enduro Style, 9 a.m., Dogwood Dell

Afterparty – China Street (Oregon Hill)

Wednesday, September 23:

Pros Ride – Mens Elite Time Trial, 1:30 p.m.

You Ride – Powhite Hot Laps, 5 p.m., Powhite Park

Afterparty – Chez Andre, Blakemore Road (Southside), just like every Wednesday

Thursday, September 24:

No pro racing

You Ride – Pocahontas State Park, 10 a.m., Amphitheater Parking Area

Afterparty – TBD

Friday, September 25:

Pros Ride – Womens Jr./Mens U-23 Road Race 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Shmoes Ride – Conquer The Cobbles 7 to 9 p.m.

You Ride – Road Course Poach – 2 laps, 4:30 pm, Starts/Finishes at Libbie Hill Park

Afterparty, Awards and Heckling – Pit O’ Disrepair, E. Franklin Street (Church Hill)

If you can survive all that, then you may be a GC contender, and have your shot at some crappy homemade prizes. I have good intel that the women’s race is heating up already. I expect old grudges will be settled and new ones forged. Remember, the world will be watching.

Parking and car travel city-wide will of course be limited, so ride to the ride wherever possible.

As more details reveal themselves, I will update this page accordingly.

For many years, the James River Regional Cleanup has attracted hundreds of volunteers who roam the shorelines on foot and cruise the water in boats to clean up trash, an effort that is a tremendous benefit to the river, its wildlife, and the people who visit and enjoy the river. The upcoming cleanup is Saturday, Sept. 12. Registration opens at 8:30 a.m. and the cleanup begins at 9. The best part: They provide lunch!

The Sports Backers just announced a new event that, not surprisingly, looks to be a blast. It’s coming up in early October, so put it on your calendar now!

In celebration of Richmond’s urban trail system and burgeoning craft beer culture, the group is announcing the first-ever Trails and Ales trail run and craft beer festival, set for Saturday, October 3. The event will take place in Manchester at W. 10th Street and Semmes Avenue, adjacent to the SunTrust building, at 4:30 p.m.

If you agree with the above, ‘Trails and Ales’ is for you. Credit: trailrunningforbeer.blogspot.com

Registration for Trails and Ales is now open at www.sportsbackers.org, with a block of the first 250 spots open at a special rate of $30. Overall registration will be capped at 750. Once the first 250 spots have been claimed, registration will re-open at a later date with a $35 registration fee.

From the SB’s press release: In conjunction with the trail run will be the Trails and Ales Craft Beer Festival, highlighting the exciting culture of craft brewing that is rising in the Richmond region. Beers and ciders from local breweries, including Hardywood Park Craft Brewery, Isley Brewing Company, Legend Brewing Company, Strangeways Brewing, and Bold Rock Hard Cider, will be available at the festival, and race participants will receive a stainless steel finisher cup and one drink ticket to be redeemed at the festival. There will also be food trucks, beverages available for purchase, and music. Friends, family, and spectators are also invited to take part in the festival.

Trails and Ales will consist of two course options: an 8-mile ‘Tall Boy’ course and a 5k ‘Pint Glass’ course. Courses will be on the scenic Buttermilk and North Bank trails in the James River Park System. The Tall Boy course pairs medium to high climbs with smooth paths along the river and a fun finish, while the Pint Glass course has lower mileage compared to its 8-mile sister, but shares the same earthy aromas, scenic views, and exciting finish.

“We are very excited to add Trails and Ales to our event lineup to continue motivating and inspiring an active community,” said Jon Lugbill, Executive Director of Sports Backers. “The James River Park offers some of the best urban trails in the country, highlighted by the downtown riverfront. Combining that with the energy and enthusiasm for the craft beer culture here in Richmond will make for a great event.”

Participants will have the opportunity to donate to support a new water fountain in the James River Park. This is a grassroots effort of trail advocates, led by RVA MORE and Kelleher HVAC, to install a human and canine-friendly water fountain at the Pump House Drive trailhead near the Boulevard Bridge. Participants can contribute to this effort during the registration process and on-site during the event.